Issue 35: How to Read More as a Mom
Plus: Kimchi ranch and a classic cocktail
No I did not read all of these books! But I did read some of them!
Worth Considering: How to Read More While Raising Tiny Humans
If you’re anything like me (terrified of taking two small children on vacation and/or a very content homebody), you mostly spent the summer bopping along with the same routine as always while peppering in a few special ~*sUmMeR*~ activities like a chaotic trip to the community pool that you’d ultimately regret and taking out a second mortgage to pay for 3 months of treats from the ice cream truck. Was it fun or just hot? Who’s to say! Somehow amidst the sweating, I was able to read (yes, READ!!!) more books this season than I had in a long time, and I’m not talking about the Sandra Boynton canon in its entirety. I know what you’re thinking: Moms don’t have time to read! And based on previous experience, I couldn’t agree more. But I made a few small tweaks and I thought it might be helpful to share them here.
One of the greatest losses in motherhood is dedicated time for hobbies and personal interests. Days are filled with care tasks, or work, or household obligations. I found that even when I did have time for myself, I spent it napping or scrolling; it was all my brain could handle. This has mostly been the case for the last four years: newborn exhaustion, the all-consuming toddler phase, then repeat with kid #2. My literary capacity was capped at Goodnight Moon. Then, my second turned two in June and I finally found that my desire, energy level and attention span had returned enough so that I was able to get back into reading at a steadier clip. I fell in love with books again and mostly importantly, found a way to integrate reading into life as a mom. Here are my best tips!
Keep the bar low to start. Listen, this isn’t your Infinite Jest era. Pick a book that is 300 pages or shorter and in your favorite genre. This makes it feel familiar and doable, cozy and comforting.
Begin the book at an optimal time. This means: when you’re not with your kid(s) and you are at peak awake and alert status. Beginning a book while your kids are around is, in a word, impossible. Get into it when you have your full attention available, and then you’ll be able to jump back into it more easily while parenting.
Consider reading more than one book at a time. If I’m reading some heavier literary fiction, I will often also have a second, lighter book going that I can dip into with my kids around. Genres like romance, thriller, beach reads, etc. are perfect—the plots aren’t complex, the writing it accessible, and usually the chapters are shorter. Save the loftier reads for when the kids aren’t around.
Keep the book or kindle out where you’ll see it. Every morning I move my book from my nightstand to my kitchen island, in hopes of being able to pick it up for a few minutes throughout the day. Some days I don’t crack it open at all! Some days I can get through a good chunk of it. Even when it’s just a few pages, it adds up quickly to a finished book.
Audiobooks count as reading!!! Libby has changed my life in its accessibility to audiobooks. I now always have an audiobook going. I listen while driving (usually without kids bc those gremlins won’t stop with the questions and commentary), and when doing random house stuff. I listen at 1.25x speed and 15-minute blocks add up QUICK. Memoirs and essay compilations are my favorite to listen to, but fiction is great too!
Small spurts add up. Get comfortable with reading a few pages at a time while your kids are around, and putting the idyllic scenario of curling up with a book for hours on hold (for now!). We’re doing what we can with what we have right now.
DNF like your reading life depends on it. If you are not into a book within the first 30 pages, stop reading it. Don’t be a hero! There are no prizes for finishing a book you hate! Nothing will kill your joie de reading like forcing yourself to read something you’re not loving.
Read while they read. No, my children can’t read. But they can look through books. I’ll set out a small pile of books for each of my kids to “read” and I’ll pick up my book to read while they do. You don’t always need to read with your kid. Sometimes this lasts for awhile, sometimes literally 30 seconds. I want them to see me reading so they understand that books are important to me, and our family. Bigger, encyclopedia-type books with lots of pictures are great for this with kids 2+ — we love Richard Scarry’s Things That Go, Ultimate Bugopedia, Ultimate Book of Animals—whatever your kid is into, there’s a reference book for it!
Most importantly: Don’t beat yourself up. If you’re not able to read as much as you’d like in this season, that’s okay. If it takes you three months to read a book, who cares—you read a book!!! If you’d rather nap than read, NAP! Your zest for reading will return—eventually. Promise.
Worth Reading: Crying in H Mart (Amazon // Bookshop.org)
I think this book was my favorite read this summer—I listened to author Michelle Zauner read it on audio, and was so moved by her impeccable storytelling and her ability to transport us to a very specific time in her life: post-college, finding her footing as an adult, while seeing her mother through a terminal cancer diagnosis. It’s about the complexities of a mother-daughter relationship, and the desire to forge a new path while grieving the loss of the home that built you.
If memoirs aren’t your jam, I also adored Remarkably Bright Creatures, so full of delight and joy.
Worth Clicking: Listening to Taylor Swift in Prison, The New Yorker
An inmate convicted of murder becomes a Swiftie—a heartwarming short read.
Worth Sipping: The Paper Plane
A classic cocktail that’s new to me. Equal parts make it a dream to prepare, while the booziness takes the edge off of the bedtime routine (#parentinghack). Kyle even called it refreshing, and he’s not really a cocktail guy! You can also sub the Amaro Nonino with a host of options (Averna, Montenegro, Cynar, even sweet vermouth).
Paper Plane
3/4 oz bourbon
3/4 oz Aperol
3/4 oz Amaro Nonino
3/4 oz fresh lemon juice
Shake all with ice until very cold, about 20 seconds. Double strain into a coupe, garnish with a lemon twist.
Worth Cooking: Molly Baz’s Crispy Cutlets with Kimchi Ranch
One of my favorite things to do is check out cookbooks at the library, which allows me to gauge how many recipes I’m interesting in making before I buy it for keeps. I’ll curl up with the book at my kitchen counter, flag the recipes that catch my eye, and try to cook from it nearly exclusively for several weeks. I finally got my hands on Molly Baz’s Cook This Book and I flagged so many recipes the entire side of the book is comically bright orange. These crispy cutlets were my first go, and they were incredible. But what really sent them over the top was the accompanying kimchi ranch, a dip so good I could drink it. I made this Korean potato salad to go with it, which ended up being the perfect end-of-summer meal.
Worth Quoting: Emory Hall, poet and writer
make peace with all the women you once were lay flowers at their feet. offer them incense and honey and forgiveness. honor them and give them your silence. listen. bless them and let them be. for they are the bones of the temple you sit in now. for they are the rivers of wisdom leading you toward the sea. // i have been a thousand different women
Worth Noting: This Week’s 10 Honorable Mentions
Trousers with sneakers. I think this is going to be my fall mom aesthetic: easy and comfortable but looks elevated somehow?
NYT’s new game, Connections.
Five ingredient dinner (or lunch!): Dumpling Salad (I cut the dumplings up for chow-ability, added diced cucumber, and used a store-bought miso ginger salad dressing). So good.
Earplugs. Not for blocking out noise but for quieting my mind, especially when I wake up at 2am with my brain spinning. Weird, but somehow works.
Someday I’ll write a novel about the unlived lives of mothers, but until then, this timeless essay from the one and only Cheryl Strayed: The Ghostship That Didn’t Carry Us.
Guess I have to make this iconic plum torte that has 12,000 5-star reviews? The backstory is kind of endearing.
I was not overly impressed with my first Hotel Lobby candle, but their new Aspen scent is reeling me back in with notes of “vintage cedarwood, tooled leather, golden embers and snow-capped pine” (!!!)
Early this summer Emily Oster launched PregnantData - a sister product of her ParentData newsletter, which sends an email 2x/month with data-driven info for each stage of pregnancy. I would have killed for this when I was pregnant.
Under the Influence podcast is back!