Issue 33: DIY Nursery Just In Time for Her 2nd Birthday!

Plus: Book recs for grown-ups and kids!

Get the look: an overpriced crib sheet and mildly-abrasive peach paint.

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Worth Mentioning: DIY Nursery Reveal Just In Time for Her 2nd Birthday!

Got a vision for your second kiddo’s very own nursery but don’t know how to execute? I got you! In 17 easy steps and 24 short months, you, too, can make that dream come to life!

Step 1: Become pregnant with second child. Have absolutely zero time or energy to devote to anything other than your tyrannical two-year-old toddler. Forget nurseries exist.

Step 2: Purely survive the following six months of pregnancy that is somehow more exhausting the second time around?! Blame “advanced maternal age” but also mostly the toddler.

Step 3: Two months before due date, remember nurseries actually do exist. Panic.

Step 4: Hurriedly begin toddler transition into big kid bed, because hell no are you buying a second crib. Five sleepless nights later, consider throwing absolutely any amount of money at obtaining a second crib.

Step 5: Two weeks before delivery, convince yourself you’re an absolute monster and contain not a single loving, motherly bone in your body while staring at your unborn child’s unpainted, unfurnished nursery (lone crib still in use, obviously). Decide that yes, of course you can pull this together in a couple of weeks! You’ll probably go way past your due date anyways!

Step 6: Spend one entire day on Pinterest for ~*iNsPiRaTiOn*~ then another opening, closing, re-opening, and definitely re-closing West Elm tabs for $1400 dollhouse-shaped bookcases.

Step 7: Buy the knockoff Wayfair version that you already know you’ll hate and that is a full foot shorter than expected because you’ve deluded yourself into believing that you know how tall 42 inches is.

Step 8: Go into labor 4 days early. Arrive home to welcome baby into her nursery, still unpainted but now adorned with one short particle board bookcase in the corner. Transfer used rocker from toddler’s room. Remind yourself of all the free time you’ll have on maternity leave to finish this up before she’s even out of the bassinet! NO SWEAT, SIS!

Step 9: Discover you have absolutely no time on maternity leave because all you want to do is sleep. Remaining hours are consumed with feeding the many small people who now live in your home and all of the guilt about literally everything.

Step 10: Realize 6 more months have passed and you’re still staring at the nursery’s blank white walls, bare floor and curtainless windows. Remind yourself that you did manage to buy a single, brand new, overpriced but adorable sheet for aforementioned crib (finally relocated!!) and a hair bow hanger. The essentials!

Step 11: Decide 11 months postpartum that you are physically and emotionally ready to paint the nursery! Defend that “adjustment period” with the fury of a thousand suns to anyone who even passes through the doorway.

Step 12: Select on a paint color on her 18 month milestone. Spend one precious child-free day painting. Regret choice immediately, both the salmon hue and the poor use of childcare.

Step 13: On a random Tuesday at 12:46pm, capitalize on an unprecedented bout of inspiration and order a mid-century modern mirror, a few floating bookshelves (hack: children’s books can double as decor!), two more sub-par pieces of Wayfair furniture and a rug that will inevitably have to be returned (see Step 7 re: measuring).

Step 14: Complete the shopping spree with overpriced Crate & Kids curtains because they really tie the space together, ya know?

Step 15: Round out the room with hand-me-down toys taken from her older brother, which will end up back in his room by sundown the next day.

Step 16: Reveal completed nursery to unimpressed 23-month old. To maintain morale, post photo on Instagram with a vague caption about how you “can’t believe I forgot to post this when she was born!”

Step 17: Celebrate her 2nd birthday. Realize she actually has interests now and that the nursery is too babyish for a toddler. Start all over. Make goal to have it completed by her 4th birthday. You’ve totally got this.

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Worth Clicking: “Who Gets Quality Leisure?” - Culture Study

This piece from Anne Helen Petersen’s fantastic newsletter, Culture Study, is fascinating and brings forth a concept that is obvious in hindsight: the quality and quantity of women’s leisure is not equivalent to men’s. I could quote the whole article it’s so good, but AHP sums it up perfectly here:

“…women’s leisure is bound-up in family time, it takes a lot of invisible labor to plan and thus can feel more exhausting than restorative, they feel guilty about taking it because a good mom is a present mom, they’re more likely to modify it to accommodate the needs of their partners/children and thus it’s often not what they actually really want to do. It is ‘contaminated’ leisure.”

I don’t think we necessarily need to join sports leagues or sign up for art classes to attain time-blocked, out-of-the-home arrangements for our hobbies, but this is making me want to rethink how I segment protected time for my leisure, and putting it on the calendar in the same way my husband does for his day-long dirt bike excursions. This falls in line with the topic of my last issue on time-centered boundaries—and the importance of claiming our time, whether it be for passion projects, self-care, hobbies or leisure. In what I would consider a pretty equitable partnership, I know the time is available to me—and I’m interested in now unpacking why I have trouble asking for it.

(The comments section at the bottom of the article is great, touching on things like the impossibilities of finding female friends who can segment the leisure time with you, and the nagging feeling of “optimizing” leisure time when, as a parent of young kids, it can feel so fleeting.)

Worth Reading: All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir (Amazon // Bookshop.org)

I haven’t picked up a YA book in some time, and I’m so glad I revisited the genre with this beautiful book. There’s something so raw and moving about stories told from the vantage point of teenagers—I’m instantly transported back to those years full of all-consuming emotions, the reckoning of who you are and who you are on the brink of becoming.

The story is told by two friends just a few months away from high school graduation, trying to untangle the complicated feelings between them while their worlds—individual and shared—come undone in a million ways. I fell in love with Sal and Noor, and still find myself thinking about them.

Worth Reading Aloud: Nigel and the Moon by Antwan Eady (Amazon // Bookshop.org)

I absolutely live for a tearjerker children’s book, and this one delivers! Nigel has big dreams, but he can’t bring himself to share them with the world—so they remain between him and the moon. But when career week arrives at school, Nigel realizes that no dream is too small, too big, too silly to say aloud. It gets me every time.

Related reading: The Long Ride Home by Stephanie Graegin is equally as weepy, and her illustrations are so sweet.

Worth Watching: Dahmer - Netflix

I treated myself to murder show last month and boooooyyyy did I get a murder show! The first episode is maybe one of the most haunting pieces of television I’ve ever consumed, and if I’m being completely honest, the rest of the 10-part series mostly follows suit. But if you’re fascinated by serial killers or true crime, this is a must-watch. The writing and production are excellent and the casting is A++. I knew Jeffrey Dahmer before, but now I know Jeffrey Dahmer. Be sure to set yourself up with a nice 20-minute sitcom chaser before you head to bed, because, um, yikes.

Worth Revisiting: WM’s 2021 Valentine’s Newsletter

I wrote about how we measure love and the worth of our relationship, and reading it back it still holds. You can read it here. And happy, happy Valentine’s Day!

Worth Quoting: Anna White, from her book Mended

“My fear of being real, of being seen, paralyzes me into silence. I crave the touch and the connection, but I’m not always brave enough to open my hand and reach out. This is the great challenge: to be seen, accepted, and loved, I must first reveal, offer, and surrender.”

Worth Noting: This Week’s 10 Honorable Mentions

1. On the menu this week: slow cooker chicken tacos and one pot nachos.

2. Wondering if I can get it together to make these stuffed red velvet cookies in time for Valentine’s Day.

3. I sampled this geranium + bergamot hand lotion the other day and can’t stop thinking about how good it was.

4. This “let’s spiral” mug feels on brand.

5. Are you playing the NYT game Letter Boxed? It’s rivaling Wordle for me these days.

6. Olive & June’s quick dry polishes (at Target!) are perfect for the exactly 2 minutes I have to give myself a manicure. And so many good colors!

7. Intrigued by the chic-meets-useful concept behind Wet Pots, a self-watering plant care system.

8. Even as an introvert, I enjoyed this very random but very entertaining thread of party ideas! (Great comment section there, too.)

9. Helpful while scrolling: When I feel pangs of jealously, I ask myself, “is that really what I want?” and most of the time the answer is no. If it’s yes, I dig in to understand what specific thing, element, feeling I’m envious of, and go deeper from there.

10. Trying to find a spot in my house for a kitschy-cute Retroflect mirror.

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